MONDAY MORNING.
Mabel finds me checking out a ghost tour site. Me and my friend Jen like to take in a ghostly event in honour of Halloween. We're both really into ghosts, spooky places and history. Hot right?
MABEL: Are you guys going to a séance?
ME: Spoooooooooookeeeeeeeeeey ooooooohhhh.
SHE SMIRKS, SHAKES HER HEAD.
MABEL: Cringe!
ME: Mabel, on a scale of 1-10 how 'cringe' am I?
ANOTHER SMIRK.
MABEL: We're not doing this, really?
ME: That's a pretty interesting non-answer. Am I cringe? I'm not right?
MABEL: Oh yes you are.
ME: Well. I'm Ok. With being cringe. Cringe is cool.
JUST QUIET STILLNESS FROM HER. LIKE WHEN THEY'RE HIDING FROM THE T-REX IN JURASSIC EVERYTHING.
ME: On a scale of like 1-10 with 10 being the 'est' of the cringe-y, how cringe am I?
I WATCH HER REPLAY SOMETHING IN HER HEAD.
Me: Like....when?
Mabel: I have to get ready for school and if we start this I'm going to be late.
SIDE NOTE: IT'S 8AM. SCHOOL STARTS AT 8:45AM AND WE HAVE A 20 MINUTE WALK TOGETHER TO THE STREETCAR. PLENTY OF TIME FOR A VERY. SHORT. LIST.
ME: On a scale of 1-10?
MABEL: Sssssss-sssssss-ffffffffiiivve? Five? Five out of ten?
ME: I have to live with that.
MABEL: You and me both.
It's just this thing we have to deal with in our family. You're cringe, Daddy's cringe, and I'm a total weirdo. It's our thing.
ME: So it's great being cringe right?
MABEL: Well, sometimes it's embarrassing but like, yeah. We're us.
ME: Yeah. And like...where is Daddy on the 1-10 scale?
THINKING
MABEL: When Daddy first farted in front of my friends I was really embarrassed, but now I know it's just a thing all dads do.
ME: I've been there, Daddy doesn't care who hears him fart.
But what is one thing I do that's really cringe?
MABEL: Nope.
ME: Well which of us has a higher number on the scale?
MABEL: I'm not putting my parents' cringe-ynesses up against each other! You're both cringe-y!
ME: Tell me the cringe-y-est thing I do!
MABEL: NO! Because if I do you'll stop doing it!
Mabel finds me checking out a ghost tour site. Me and my friend Jen like to take in a ghostly event in honour of Halloween. We're both really into ghosts, spooky places and history. Hot right?
MABEL: Are you guys going to a séance?
ME: Spoooooooooookeeeeeeeeeey ooooooohhhh.
SHE SMIRKS, SHAKES HER HEAD.
MABEL: Cringe!
ME: Mabel, on a scale of 1-10 how 'cringe' am I?
ANOTHER SMIRK.
MABEL: We're not doing this, really?
ME: That's a pretty interesting non-answer. Am I cringe? I'm not right?
MABEL: Oh yes you are.
ME: Well. I'm Ok. With being cringe. Cringe is cool.
JUST QUIET STILLNESS FROM HER. LIKE WHEN THEY'RE HIDING FROM THE T-REX IN JURASSIC EVERYTHING.
I WATCH HER REPLAY SOMETHING IN HER HEAD.
Mabel: I have to get ready for school and if we start this I'm going to be late.
SIDE NOTE: IT'S 8AM. SCHOOL STARTS AT 8:45AM AND WE HAVE A 20 MINUTE WALK TOGETHER TO THE STREETCAR. PLENTY OF TIME FOR A VERY. SHORT. LIST.
ME: On a scale of 1-10?
MABEL: Sssssss-sssssss-ffffffffiiivve? Five? Five out of ten?
ME: I have to live with that.
MABEL: You and me both.
It's just this thing we have to deal with in our family. You're cringe, Daddy's cringe, and I'm a total weirdo. It's our thing.
ME: So it's great being cringe right?
MABEL: Well, sometimes it's embarrassing but like, yeah. We're us.
ME: Yeah. And like...where is Daddy on the 1-10 scale?
THINKING
MABEL: When Daddy first farted in front of my friends I was really embarrassed, but now I know it's just a thing all dads do.
ME: I've been there, Daddy doesn't care who hears him fart.
But what is one thing I do that's really cringe?
MABEL: Nope.
ME: Well which of us has a higher number on the scale?
MABEL: I'm not putting my parents' cringe-ynesses up against each other! You're both cringe-y!
ME: Tell me the cringe-y-est thing I do!
MABEL: NO! Because if I do you'll stop doing it!
